If you’re like most parents of teenagers, your students grades are never good enough. As parents we expect the best for my kids and hold them in the highest esteem (most of the time). We want what’s best for them and expect the best out of them. So what can you do to help your son thrive in school? Here are seven helpful tips for bringing those grades up!
1. Set boundaries. Then stick to them. A key great parenting skill with adolescents is consistency! “As soon as you get home, the books come out. (Please) When you’re done, the rest of the night is yours. Stress-free.” It is important to emphasize here that your doing this for them, to make their day better, less stressful, with less hanging over their head all night. 2. Work along side them. Study with them. You have work to do, they have work to do, it’s a big dining room table. Share the space. This means sitting with them, minding you’re own business as they work. If they need help, they will ask otherwise just peaceful quiet sitting together works miracles. You work on your thing, he works on his, everyone wins. 3. Get to know their teachers. If you’re not going to parent teacher conferences, you’re missing out! Teachers are awesome human beings with huge hearts! They WANT to help your kid, believe me, they’re not in it for the money. Your first conversation with his math teacher should not be in February about his C-. Start the conversation early when everything is going well. September. Introduce yourself. Smile. Remind her that you’ve got the same goals and want to be a resource for your son. 4. Ask him what he knows about his resources. He needs to at least know about the school library, tutoring, after school help, teacher office hours, and ways to stay on top of things. If his answer is “umm…I don’t know ” The two of you have some research to do together. If he knows about it, he will be able to use it when he needs it. 5. Power school. Check his grades. Regularly. Dig deep, look into missing assignments. Nothing kills a great faster than a big fat ZERO on some random review sheet assigned 2 weeks ago. Most schools have a way for students and parents to stay connected. Make this a regular habit. 6.Encouragement, encouragement, encouragement! There’s no such thing as too much praise. As he gets older, his classes get harder. And it is no longer going to be easy for him to skate by, getting A’s and B’s without doing any work. Learning how to learn, how to study, is a learning PROCESS. Just like learning algebra is a process that takes time. Even when you’re at the end of your rope with him, fake it till you make it! Keep telling him you love him, keep telling him he can do it, keep telling him he is good enough! Words of affirmation from a parent are more powerful than anything he will here all day. (even though he will vehemently deny it until he’s at least 24) 7.On a similar note, celebrate the victories. Even if they’re small. Take any opportunity you can get to point out his success!
Advocating for your student can be a difficult balance to achieve.
Your teenager needs anonymity AND He need you walking with him.
He needs to earn freedoms AND he needs structure in his life.
Help him say yes, help him say no, don’t be a helicopter, don’t be a ghost.
Good Luck, Happy Conversing,
Jake Tracy is the counselor at the Petoskey practice Real Life Counseling of Northern Michigan, dedicated to helping teens and their parents thrive!